Pitfall #1: INSISTING ON A PERFECT WEDDING
There is no such thing as a perfect wedding.
. . and if there were, would you really want it? Perfection is probably
not your goal. No doubt this is a red-letter day in your life. You want it to
be special. You want your family and; friends to celebrate with you and have a
good time. However, little unexpected things happen. When you keep things
in perspective, these don't have to ruin your day. Of course, you don't want
major disruptions or distractions because of poor planning and; preparation.
That's why you want to avoid pitfalls #'s 2-5. Do this: On your wedding
day, give yourself a good talking to and remind yourself what your
wedding day is really all about.
Pitfall #2: POOR WEDDING REHEARSAL EXECUTION
If your wedding rehearsal is an exercise in frustration, you don't have
much time to get over it! Likely your wedding is the next day. Do this:
You can reduce the chances of problems at the wedding rehearsal in a couple of
ways: One, have a professional director if possible. At the least, you
need a friend or family member with strong enough personality (without taking
over your wedding wishes) to get people moving and to be there for the wedding
to remind everyone what to do/when. Two, know before going to your
rehearsal exactly how you want your wedding to go. Rehearsals are not a time
for working this out, but for practicing what you've already decided. This
doesn't mean that you won't see something at your rehearsal that you want to
change. But, if you go in with no plan, well-meaning friends & family
may take over your wedding.
Pitfall #3: NO BACK-UP PLAN IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN IN YOUR WEDDING:
Children are precious in weddings and if you want them in yours, then
certainly include them. However, for the sake of the children, have a back-up
plan.
Even children who are outgoing have trouble sometimes when they see "all
those people." You don't want the children to be embarrassed, frightened,
and upset.
Do this: Increasing, couples have children
(ring bearers, flower girls) come down the aisle and then immediately go sit
with family on the front rows.
This way, they feel included in the wedding and;
"get seen" but then are relieved from the pressure of the spotlight.
What if children are hesitant to come down
the aisle by themselves? A possibility is to have them walk down with one of
the attendants. What if a child won't stand still and; becomes a distraction?
Have a family member who will come get the child and; take them to a seat.
Children's little mess-ups are cute, but
quickly become a distraction to your ceremony.
Pitfall #4: USING RECORDED WEDDING MUSIC - This may be the
most frequent goof-up I see at weddings. Invariably, the person doing the music
can't find the on/off button, plays the wrong song at the wrong time, or
abruptly ends the bride's processional music with a loud click of the off
switch.
Do this: Have live wedding music if
possible. It sounds better and; you don't have the problems mentioned above. Or, hire a DJ. I know some that will do the ‘ceremony music only’ for $75 - $100
Recorded wedding songs can work nicely, but
if you rehearse anything, make sure you rehearse the music; what songs when,
how long they run, and when to fade them out.
Pitfall #5: AN INEXPERIENCED WEDDING
CEREMONY OFFICIANT - Perhaps I'm biased here, but I have seen and have heard many horror stories about ministers and other officiants who
do a poor job. Calling the couple by the wrong names, leaving out the bridal
kiss, speaking too low or too long, are just some of the problems. Weddings are
not the easiest things to do. Experience can make a difference.
Do this: Use an experienced wedding minister
or officiant! An experienced wedding
officiant will know what do when unexpected things happen. Did the best man
lose the ring; what to do now?
Perhaps there is someone very special to you
as a couple that you want to perform your ceremony even though they don't have
much wedding experience. In this case, spend a lot of time with them going over
exactly what you want in the ceremony. Make sure any inexperienced officiant is
at the rehearsal and go through the ceremony a couple of times.
Avoid these 5 pitfalls in planning your wedding and you will decrease your odds
of wedding bloopers ruining your wedding and your memories.
Ralph
Griggs is a life-long non-denominational minister in Nashville, Tenn.
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